Movie Therapy: The Princess Bride

Sometimes I just need a movie to help me feel more like a person and less like a dishrag. My current mood dictates what kind of movie this will be: sometimes all I need is a good cry and an on-screen cry-partner, and sometimes I need to laugh until I snort soda out my nose (very painful, that). But there is one movie that will always cheer me up, no matter what mood I’m in: The Princess Bride. I know not everyone is in love with this movie, but if you’re one of those people, ask yourself: do I dislike it because it’s a genuinely bad movie in my opinion, or do I dislike it because of all the hype it gets? Because let me tell you, the hype is accurate. Even better is the fact that the book which the movie is based on is just as funny as the movie. Probably because the author of the book also wrote the screenplay for the movie, it is one of the few instances in cinema history where the book and the movie are on equal footing quality-wise.

What are some of your favorite pick-me-up movies?

Husbands, the use of

If you have something heavy that needs lifting, for goodness’ sake wait till your husband gets home and have him do it. Then ooh and ah appropriately at his superior strength so he doesn’t feel so put upon. If you simply have to move it now, remember to lift with your knees, and if it’s high up, don’t be afraid to get a chair or stool to stand on, or even the counter if you have to. Husbands are also very useful for opening jars, etc., and keep in mind that the ego trip you’re giving him by allowing him to use his muscles is good for his manly psyche. One of the pieces of advice my mother gave me before my impending marriage was that men have fragile egos, which need constant stroking and building. I have found this to be true, and I have also found that said stroking and building requires little extra effort. (In the example above, it requires refraining from effort, which always seems like a good plan to me.)

T-shirt surgery

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce a little thing I like to call... T-shirt surgery. Got a shirt that fits you like a potato sack? Got one that you can't fit over your head? Don't want to throw them away or cut them up for rags because they have a cool logo, or have sentimental value? Never fear! They can be wearable! All it requires is a little patience, some sewing, and a lot of creativity.

Allow me to demonstrate.

I had a shirt given to me by my niece for Christmas. It was a beautiful shirt, and she had picked it out all by herself! The only problem was, it was way too small. It was past uncomfortable and into the range of tourniquet. I couldn't wear it. But giving it away was out of the question, and I didn't really want to just throw it into my t-shirt quilt. (Which is another story, and will be told another time.) I had the idea of making it into a halter top, since the main problem was the sleeves, but I didn't want to cut up this great shirt willy-nilly. Then, as I was idly googling at work one day (which I do far too often), I came across an entire online community of t-shirt surgeons. The ideas flying around were amazing! The projects were beautiful! The shirts fit! I was amazed as before-picture after before-picture of girls in gigantic or ugly t-shirts turned into after-pictures of girls wearing cute, punky, rockin' or just plain awesome shirts.

I had to try it.

Utilizing no less than 3 websites, two tutorials, and lots of praying, I went to work. Adding side panels allowed me room to breath, and allowed the shirt to actually fit over my hips. Replacing the sleeves added to the cuteness and allowed the blood to flow to my arms. I even managed to keep the picture mostly intact. I made some mistakes, and I will now measure everything five times and cut everything too big, just in case, but it turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself. Check it out!

Before

After

Thank you, t-shirt surgery, thank you. You saved my baby.

(Admittedly, most t-shirt surgeons are into the punk scene, since band shirts are the most common source of large, baggy t-shirts with awesome logos, but even if you don't swing that way, a lot of the ideas one the sites below can be utilized toward more cutesy or chic ends. It's all up to you! The best part about t-shirt surgery, to me? If you play it right, all the hard work has been done before! You don't have to hem it, or insert buttons, or anything too difficult, unless you really want to. You don't have to buy fabric- it's all there, already. A lot of these craftsters even hand sew all their work! No sewing machine necessary! This is truly a more democratic approach to crafts.)

(I still prefer a sewing machine.)


Here are some awesome links:
http://community.livejournal.com/t_shirt_surgery
http://www.whatthecraft.com/

Have any more links to t-shirt surgery or craft sites? Have any great ideas for a surgery yourself? Want to borrow my sewing machine? Feel free to leave a comment below. (And, no, you can't borrow my sewing machine. Unless we happen to live in the same apartment complex. Then we'll talk.)

Use it up and wear it out, make it do or do without

I grew up hearing the equivalent of this maxim. I couldn't buy new shoes until my old ones were unwearable. I had to eat my leftovers before I could cook something new. This led to a somewhat unhealthy attitude, namely, that I was not worthy of nice things at all, ever. This was not my mother's intention. This is not what any one expects you to think when they tell you to be frugal. But I think a lot of us end up this way anyway. We feel guilty when we buy expensive things, and vow to make up for it in other ways, as though splurging on anything is a sin. This must stop!

You are worth that expensive dress that makes you feel like a princess and flatters your every curve! You are worth a gourmet meal when you can't face another night of Hamburger Helper! You don't need to feel guilty about buying things that make you feel good. The only problem comes when this happens as a matter of course, instead of on occasion. Eating out every night or buying a hundred dresses is not what I'm talking about. And I think you realize that.

This attitude of "I'm worth it!" applies to everything. In my current situation, I have to watch my money very carefully. (This probably describes the situation most of us find ourselves in.) I have to decide what is worth spending money on, what I can skimp on, and what I can do without. For me, the ten cents or so I save by buying garbage bags without drawstrings is not worth the aggravation of having to wrestle a garbage bag into submission, which invariably involves me touching the contents of the bag in some way. (Ick!) For you, however, that ten cents might give you more peace of mind than the bags give you aggravation, and so it would make sense to skimp in that area. The point is, don't be afraid to spend money on things you think are important, even if others might think they are frivolous. I know people who are horrified by the amount of money I spend on bras, but considering how much time I spend in them, and how much they affect my posture, which in turns affects my total well-being, I consider the quality such money buys to be not only worth it, but essential. I've worn cheap bras. They make me unhappy. And I see no reason why being poor should mean I have to be unhappy.

Covers

"Don't cover things up unless it's absolutely necessary. It just means you'll have two things to take care of and keep clean instead of one."
-Peg Bracken, The I Hate to Housekeep Book, page 15

I hate to say it, but this is one of the few things I actually disagree with Saint Peg about. The principle behind it is sound, but I’ve found that some covers are easier to wash than what they cover. For me, it is so much easier to throw the rug in front of the kitchen sink in the wash than to wipe up the linoleum, but this is probably because most of what gets spilled on my floor is water, which is a cinch to just swipe the rug over with my foot. I don’t even have to bend over. But for some of you, it might be a lot more bearable to sop up a spill than to wash a rug. Whatever works for you is great. But make sure it’s easier than the alternative. Even though Saint Peg advises against them, I prefer covers in a lot of cases, such as tablecloths, placemats, etc., since doing the laundry once a week seems like a better use of my time than scrubbing at stains on tables or counters. I sometimes wish I had some sort of cover for the stove, since it invariably gets covered in grease stains, which are my least favorite thing in the whole world to clean. The point is, if covering it makes it easier to clean, do so.

(But she was right about the toaster cover. I've never made a piece of dusty toast either.)

How to Do a Lot of Things at Once

"Let us say you feel it's important, for some reason, that tomorrow you must make five-dozen cookies, wash and iron the bedroom curtains, write a long, chatty letter to the family, and shorten a skirt, which is a frolicsome Monday for you, but there it is.

"Now here's where the efficiency experts say, Make a list! Then, with a high-hearted feeling of accomplishment, you cross off each job, one by one, as you get it done.

"Of course, that's one way. But for the random housekeep, it seldom works too well. Often you get such a feeling of virtue from merely making the list that you don't feel compelled to do any of the things on it.

"No, you need a bigger burr under your bustle.

"So. The night before, as you're going to sleep, you visualize the results you aim to achieve: the family letter written, the cookies made and packed, and so on.

"Then, next morning, you forget whatever your fourth grade teacher told you about finishing one job before starting another, and you start all four projects at once.

"You stamp and address the envelope, and write a paragraph or so of the letter.

"You sift the dry ingredients for the cookies.

"You slide the curtains off the rods, onto a sullen heap on the floor.

"You set up the sewing machine, and wind the right thread into the bobbin, and you set up the iron and the ironing board.

"And now you're royally stuck. You've brought yourself to the point of no return. You'd feel a little foolish about rehanging the curtains without washing them. You certainly can't unsift the dry ingredients. You're definitely not about to waste all that good bobbin work. And there is the desk, with the letter well started, addressed, stamped-

"You must forge ahead, that's all, and, often as not, you do."

The I Hate to Housekeep Book, by Peg Bracken, page 106

Freezers and Refrigerators, Part IV

"If you live in a stormy neck of the woods, with the power going on and off like fireflies, you'd better keep your freezer good and full. Then, if the power goes off, the food will stay frozen for forty-eight hours, which gives even the most sluggish repair crew the chance to get moving. If your freezer is only half full, things will thaw in twenty-four hours."

The I Hate to Housekeep Book, by Peg Bracken, page 94