How to Remember and How to Remember to Remember

If you're like me, you have a jolly time trying to remember anything. People are always disappointed in me because I forgot something important, something they felt I would be sure to remember. But I'd forget my own birthday if I didn't get phone calls in early May. Actually, that's untrue. I do remember my own birthday, but what is really hard is stuff I only have to remember to do once. Birthdays come every year, but I only need to pick up my friend from the airport once, and no matter how many times she reminded me on the days leading up to it, and no matter how much I was looking forward to seeing her, I only give myself fifty/fifty on remembering to go pick her up. How do I cope? Admittedly, I don't cope very well, but I have much better odds of remembering when I write things down. In my case this means I have sticky notes on every surface as well as in my pockets, but I may actually be reminded to call for a checkup before it's too late if I wrote it down immediately after thinking of it three months in advance.

My brain works in mysterious ways, and yours may well do also, but chances are your thought process is far different from mine. Sticky notes may not work for you. Find something that works and stick with it. Saint Peg had a few tips, one or two of which I'll share with you.

"Now, how to remember a number of things when you're unable to write them down- when you're driving, for instance, or soul alone, in bed, in the dark. This is where the memory experts prove the stuff they're made of. They have proved, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you can remember fifty things if you will first memorize fifty key words or pictures to remember them with.

"But to the random housewife, this doesn't make sense. In the first place, she hardly knows fifty things worth remembering, and if she did, that's what pencils are for. Four things are her maximum; and four key words which work for most people- because they are easy to remember- are these:

1. flagpole
2. red bloomers
3. tricycle
4. pig

"As you will perceive after a moment's close study, flagpole is singular, like 1. Bloomers, being bifurcated, are double, like 2. Tricycle, with its three wheels, is triple; and the usual pig has four legs.

"Thus, when you must depend on your head alone to remember some assorted things- say, to call Dr. Mason for a dental appointment, to leave the back door unlocked for the deliveryman, and to pick up anchovies and butter at the grocers- you do it in this fashion:

"First you run Dr. Mason up the flagpole. You clearly visualize him going up, probably flailing his arms and complaining all the way. If you think hard enough about him for a moment, you'll find him still stuck up there when you haul out your keywords* and look at Number 1- flagpole. You will remember, then, to call him up, and you'll undoubtedly find him none the worse for wear.

"And so on down your list. You mentally put the red bloomers on the delivery man, if that helps you to remember him, or you hang a pair from the front doorknob. You see a cheerful anchovy riding a tricycle. And a well-greased pig wallowing in a trough of the best butter.

"There you are, with all four things tidily remembered. You will find, too, that your four key words are obliging about cleaning themselves up. Once you've called the dentist or bought the anchovies, your keywords are bare of association again, and ready to reuse.

*You have to haul them out and check them, at fairly regular intervals, or they won't do a thing for you."

You're only saving money if you were going to buy it anyway.

Book Review: The Lingerie Handbook

Now, don't be scared. I'm not going to even mention sex, except for this sentence right here. This book, written by the owner of La Petite Coquette, a lingerie shop in New York City, is about more than just the bedroom. It has the express purpose of making you feel better, younger, and thinner simply by wearing better underwear. The psychological and physiological power of wearing beautiful and and well-fitting lingerie is overlooked and under appreciated. Most women are wearing the wrong size bra, and are suffering in silence because they think it's normal. Rebecca Apsan is here to say that lingerie is meant to be comfortable, and that you don't need the promise of an audience to justify wearing something pretty underneath.

A few highlights from the book:

Bras: The three factors of fit:

1. The band: Does the band of your bra make a perfect circle under your rib cage? Is it snug, but not so tight you can't fit a finger underneath? If not, your band is the wrong size. It is too loose if there is breast spillage (this may be a cup issue as well), if it rides up in the back, or if you are always adjusting it. It is too small if you're seeing rolls of flesh around the side wings.

2. The straps: It is a good idea to adjust the straps of your bra daily, especially as it ages and begins to loosen up. Your straps should never dig into your shoulders, and they should never provide the main support for your breasts. That's the band's job. The straps should be just tight enough to hold the bra in place on your shoulders. A good test to see if your straps are sharing the weight and not bearing the weight is this: if you slip the straps off your shoulders, the band should stay in place, even if the cups flop over. If the band falls off, go up a band size instead of adjusting the straps.

3. The cups: The top of your bra should never wrinkle. Your breasts should fill both the top and bottom portions of the cups. If your cups wrinkle, they are too big. They are too small if your breasts creep over the top and spill out the sides of the bra. If the cup runneth over, go up a size. If the underwire ever rests on breast tissue, or digs into the sides of your breasts, your cup is too small.

The perfect bra is snug, while still being able to fit a finger underneath, has a firm fit around the back, since that's where most of the support comes from, and the front and back of the band are even and parallel to the ground.

(Taken from La Petite Coquette, pages 44-46)

If you have any tips or suggestions, other books you think might be good to check out, stories good or bad, feel free to leave a comment.

Grease Stains

Yesterday was laundry day, and I was reminded of the fact that my husband had gotten grease stains all over his new shorts. Such is life, I suppose, and after I gave him a good sigh, I set to work trying to get it out. I had already tried just pre-treating it with liquid detergent, which had worked not a whit, so it was time to call in the big guns. I called my mother-in-law.

This is not a bad idea for anyone who has one, since not only is she about as knowledgeable as your own mother, but relations can be strengthened when you ask for advice (who doesn't enjoy being asked for advice?), and besides, you already know all your own mother's tricks. If you don't have a mother-in-law, any older woman you know will do. (Actually, ask everybody about everything. Ask your butcher about meat, ask a baker about bread, ask the lady at the dry cleaner about stains. Ask, ask, ask, and you'll get answers from people who know.)

My wonderful mother-in-law, who destroys all stereotypes of evil and wicked in-laws, advised me to try dish soap, since that stuff is built for cutting through grease. It was as though a light had shown through my stained day: it was so obvious, and yet so brilliant. Best of all, it worked.

Our method was to pour a few drops of dish soap on the offending stain, rub it in with a damp washcloth, and rinse. You probably don't need to rinse it, and if you feel like it you could scrub with something stronger than a cloth, but it did the trick.

One thing to remember about stains: if you try a method of stain removal you're not sure of (or if you're not sure your tried-and-true method will stand up to the honker you've got) don't put the item through the dryer: instead, just let it air-dry. If it's still stained, then you at least didn't set the stain in there permanently by drying it, and if it isn't stained, wonderful. This concept holds true for washing the stain out when it's fresh (the best way to remove a stain- get it while it's still hot): don't rinse any stain in hot water, since this will only make it stay more stubbornly. For delicates I like to use simple lingerie soap, which they sell at a lot of places that sell delicates, but hand soap works too if you think buying lingerie soap is a snooty way to spend your money (I didn't buy mine for myself, so I'm clear there).

The Law of the Purse

The law of the purse states:

The contents of the purse will expand in a direct one to one proportion to the size of the purse; or, no matter how big your purse is, it will always be full.

My mom discovered this law when she caught herself putting a pair of pliers into her gigantic purse. She stood there, thinking to herself, what will I ever use these for? And then got a smaller purse.

... And knowing is half the battle.

When cleaning mirrors or windows, just spray on some glass cleaner and then wipe it down with wadded-up newspaper. It won’t leave any streaks or lint, and you won’t have to scrub so hard or for so long.

Plastic Grocery Bags

It no longer seems you have a choice between paper or plastic at the grocery store, but don’t fret. If you use paper bags for things, you can always still buy them, and meanwhile there are plenty of things to do with your plastic ones that keep them out of landfills for a little longer. I will attempt to list their uses (or at least the ones I have for them) but this will, of course, be a Herculean task.

1. Garbage bags. They make wonderful liners for bedroom and bathroom trash cans, with the added bonuses of, to wit: they are free; they have handles; said handles can be used to tie said bag up once it’s full. My mother even used them for our kitchen garbage, but you needn’t go that far; aside from making you have to take the trash out every few hours, they do tend to rip, and kitchen garbage is usually a lot drippier than the other kind. Also great for camping and having in the car.

2. Swimsuit holders. Actually, they’re great for when you need to carry anything wet. You could conceivably wet a washcloth, wring it out a bit, and put it in a plastic bag in your car, instead of buying wet wipes, but frankly I recommend the wet wipes.

3. You can use one to hold all the others.

4. Lunch bag, especially if you plan on carrying anything with the potential to spill. Also good for wrapping up individual components of lunch (such as leftovers in untrustworthy Tupperware) and then putting in the normal lunch bag.

5. Freezing things. Bread is surprisingly resistant to freezer burn, as long as you wrap it up in another few layers on top of the bag it comes in. (Come to that, bread bags are great for a lot of the same things grocery bags are.) Actually, I think freezer burn can be avoided in most cases if you wrap things in enough layers.

6. Give me your suggestions. This is all I can think of at the moment, but I know there are more. Just leave a comment with your witty use of grocery bags, and at some point I'll compile them into another post for all to see and enjoy.